The Danger of "Just Getting It Over With"

Because I do so much work with couples in distress, it's inevitable I'll work with couples in the midst of a divorce. So, I'm often there from the announcement through the final paperwork, which gives me great insight into the entire process from start to finish. One trend I see over and over again is the notion of "I just want to get this over with." After so much turmoil, distress, and conflict, it's not unusual for at least one partner to exhaust himself/herself and concede to any request because, frankly, he/she is just plain tired. I often hear, "I'll do anything she asks - I just want to get this over with." Or, "I don't care what he does anymore - I just want to get this over with." O

Do You Know About the "Take Away" Effect?

As the parent of three, I'm always on the hunt for ways to incentivize (bribe) them to do what I want. Now, you may be tempted to believe that incentivizing children is the easy way out - or even wrong. But, think about it this way: We're all "incentivized." Would you show up for work if you weren't getting paid? Recently, I read something that's really helped me get the most of my incentivizing strategy. According to research, the loss you feel when something is taken away far exceeds the gain you feel from getting something. In a study, high school students were given a $20 bill and told they could keep the $20 if they performed well on a test. But, if they failed, they would lose the $20.

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